Random Thoughts

I'm supposed to be preparing for my classes now, but my brain is not registering (my, it was even a struggle to make this sentence coherent...) so I thought I would ramble a little online before trying to plunge into work


1. Hopefully I can finish my lesson prep fast this evening and speed home for dinner. Ishii san brought me a dry curry bento which I am so looking forward to. Have sometimes managed to finish prep for one class within 45 minutes--- efficiency goes up when i am hungry actually...

2. was pondering over Frank's blog, where he said this was a BAD day (not sure which day?) because of reasons known only to himself...cryptic, its like saying something halfway then not completing the sentence, to tantalise and frustrate your listener..not that I am accusing you of trying to frustrate your blog readers Fru, but I think I am most guilty of this myself... in fact i specialise in cryptic remarks--- verging on esotericism in fact, except that there is nothing really profound in anything i want to say (you are probably wondering what hidden messages are behind this remark too as well).. but how honestly can one NOT be cryptic especially on a blog? I mean it is online and ANYONE can read it...I always ALWAYS worry how would XX think if I wrote this or would my parents worry too much about me if I write this, would this offend, is this, is that...well that is me, I guess. maybe that is why blogs don't really work for me... how DO others cope with this problem? Sometimes i think i am really blogging for myself.. then why blog right? I could just write in a diary...ah, but I do write in a diary everyday ...but i guess a blog panders to my desire to talk about myself and it flatters to think that someone might read what i have to say... thanks to you if you are reading this, and please bear with my cryptic comments!

3. Disturbing dream that night... dreamt i was with X in a pretty scary place...
「僕は守ってあげるよ！」Woke up with a start...The dream did not frighten me, what the dream revealed to me of myself startled...

4. Almost thru with Larry Crabb's "Shattered Dreams".. think I will embrace fully the St John Rivers in me after all... no, but the book has helped me to see that its ok to say, "I'm feeling terrible, I am fine", yes, you read it correctly... This isn't a perfect world after all... why should we expect life to be smooth or without pain or problems...(I can feel St John River-ness rising to ascendancy in me. Coincidentally why do we ASSUME that St John Rivers' take on life was necessarily wrong just because it was self-denying? )..but this isn't our home anyway. Heaven is our home and we are strangers in an alien world... if the difficulties in life make us dissatisfied with life on earth and look ahead to perfect love, perfect peace, the God who alone can satisfy us... pain isn't necessary bad i guess then...


Back to my work... i guess...Thanks for caring to read...